It’s 1935
You’re Italy — Fascist, fashionably militarized, theoretically an empire. But deep down, Europe knows…
- You’re insecure.
- Your navy’s decent.
- Your army’s uneven.
- Your ambitions? Far, far larger than your equipment.
The target? Ethiopia — a proud, sovereign, mountainous nation that’s already humiliated a European power once (looking at you, 1896 Italy… how’s that Battle of Adwa scar healing?).
Round two? You want revenge. The world? Watching… amused.
🗺 Act I — Logistics: The Forgotten Foreplay
Modern warfare requires:
- Industry.
- Infrastructure.
- Competent planning.
Italy brings…
- Outdated tanks better suited for parades than mountains.
- Supply lines stretched comically thin across the Red Sea.
- Airplanes that look menacing… until they meet altitude.
- Commanders more versed in propaganda than practical combat.
Meanwhile, Ethiopia?
- Defending home soil.
- Familiar with the terrain.
- Highly motivated.
- Armed… poorly, but stubbornly.
Italy should win easily. But with logistics this flaccid? Even the inevitability of victory feels… underwhelming.
⚔ Act II — Combat: Awkward, Bloody, Inconvenient
Italy invades from Eritrea and Italian Somaliland, envisioning swift, disciplined domination.
Reality?
- Harsh terrain slows advances to a crawl.
- Ethiopian guerrilla tactics frustrate Italian formations.
- Italian casualties rise embarrassingly fast for a “colonial conflict.”
- International observers snicker as Mussolini’s proud legions trip over logistics.
Ethiopia may be outgunned, but pride — and mountains — go a long way.
Desperation brews. Italy’s ego? Trembling.
☣ Act III — The Taboo: Chemical Weapons
Faced with stubborn resistance and the creeping specter of humiliation, Mussolini escalates:
- Mustard gas deployed.
- Villages, forests, and Ethiopian troops doused.
- International law? Disregarded.
- Moral high ground? Abandoned.
The invasion becomes not a victory, but a stain — visible, undeniable, permanent.
The League of Nations scolds. Sanctions fumble into place. But Europe’s appetite for consequences? Muted… distracted by darker clouds brewing elsewhere.
🏴 Act IV — Pyrrhic Victory
By May 1936, Addis Ababa falls. Italy declares victory. Mussolini struts. The map changes.
But…
- Global prestige? Tarnished.
- Military competence? Exposed as fragile.
- Ethiopian resistance? Smolders beneath occupation.
- Fascist Italy? No stronger, only more overextended.
It’s conquest with an asterisk. Empire by technicality. Geopolitical power, still second-rate — dressed in colonial drag, unable to hide the structural insecurities beneath.
❤️ Conclusion: Shame Served Cold
Italy won… But it won poorly.
- Through chemical warfare.
- Through logistical incompetence.
- Through the whispered laughter of more powerful nations.
The Italo-Ethiopian War wasn’t proof of strength.
It was a historical footnote… foreplay to a far greater humiliation that would come in World War II, when Italy’s military fantasies met the cold, unblinking reality of modern conflict.